Uh, off again...

I feel like I am the rag hanging in the middle of the rope in a giant game of tug of war. (Great picture, huh?)
Back and forth, tugged here, yanked there, drug through the mud a little, squished by the teeming masses, ripped backwards only to start the whole process all over again.

In order to save what is left of my little brain power, I'm just copying my facebook post, I'm too tired and discouraged to do anything more than this.

"Due to a Department of the Army administrative glitch, Barry's packet did NOT make it before the board!! The next board meets June 23rd. We are slowly sinking...into despair, into debt, into the muck and mire of self pity. The DA is transitioning to a paperless board system, Barry's packet was there and complete, but for some reason did not get transmitted, (along with many other packets as well.) Big DA SNAFU!!

I am so jealous of everyone else who has gone through this process. Why did it seem so easy!? Why is it so hard for us?

Barry keeps saying that we will emerge on the other side of all of this smelling like smoke, but not burned. (Reference to Shadrack, Meshack and Abendigo, in the fiery furnace.) I'm not so sure. I'm trying to trust, but I am so very tired of the hanging and holding on. My grip is slipping.

Why are we forced to sit on the sidelines when everyone else in in the fight, working for the Lord, we sit, we watch, we wait. I'm growing lethargic and lazy, frustrated and frazzled, discouraged and disappointed.

Prayers please

My sweet little great-nephew, Michael, has had serious brain issues. He had a tumor which was partially removed through an operation last year.

He has been having chemo radiation therapy once a month to shrink the remaining portion of the tumor. It was surrounding his optical nerve and couldn't be completely removed.

On Thursday, April 30th, he will be having another MRI to see if the tumor is shrinking and then later that afternoon he will have another chemo treatment.(Two weeks after that his Momma will be having a C-Cection to deliver a baby brother for Michael, please pray for her too.)

Please pray that God will cause the tumor to shrink and no damage to the optical nerve has occurred.

He is such a sweet little babe.

I know that God can work miracles. I've seen Him do it.

Ah, Spring!

I hung my clothes lines today. In honor of this springtime rite of passage, I'm reposting the rules, for those of you who don't know them already...
1. Wash the clothes line before hanging any clothes. Walk the length of each line with a damp cloth around the line.

2. Hang the clothes in a certain order and always hang whites with whites and hang them first.

3. Never hang a shirt by the shoulders, always by the tail. What would the neighbors think?

4. Wash day on a Monday...........never hang clothes on the weekend or Sunday for heaven's sake!

5. Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so you can hide your 'unmentionables' in the middle.

6. It doesn't matter if it is sub zero weather.............clothes would 'freeze dry.' (Too wet in my part of the world!)

7. Always gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes. Pins left on the line are 'tacky'.

8. Hang the clothes up so that each item does not need two clothes pins, but share one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.

9. Clothes off of the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket and ready to be ironed.

10. IRONED?????????? Well, that's a whole other subject. I'm off to play with Boo...

On again...

Bear's Chaplain packet will go before the board on the 13th of May; our anniversary and also two years to the day from when Bear got out of the military to pursue becoming a Chaplain.

We are very excited that the packet has been pulled out of the recruiter's bottom drawer and will be submitted.

It is with much prayerfulness that we have gotten to this point, and we are asking for prayer during the selection process.

God is indeed sovereign and we are trusting Him for the outcome.

Surrender...

Is this what I'm not doing?
I thought that I held loosely to what was in my hand.
Apparantly, I have not.
I guess if it feels as if part of me has been ripped away, I was clinging pretty tightly to it.
I'll try Lord.
My hands are open Lord.
I'm letting loose.
Take what you want.

Funny Pic to share

I've been sorting through oodles and gobs of pictures. (ha ha, my mother used to say that!) Anyway, a lot! Been trying to edit, crop, identify pictures to go in a memorial album for my brother Clarence's family.

I think we are up to 24 copies so far. I'm doing them digitally with a great program from Creative Memories called Storyook Creator Plus. It makes me look like I'm a graphic designer, which clearly, I'm not! But anyway, it's great.

I came across this funny picture of my Daddy and brothers. Thought I'd post it here.

Clarence is on the right standing next to Dad. I guess they were playingping pong. Although I don't remember that there was a ping pong table in that room? Hmmm, maybe they were just being weird, which is tipical behavior for the men in my family.

Old Home

While we were away at my brother's funeral in Idaho, Bear and I drove to the house I lived in for the first 14 years of my life. It is a very old (120 years?) home in Meridian Idaho. It was called the Wireless Ranch, there was a wireless radio tower on the property when it was first built.

I loved the home. My dad had done so many great improvements, there were built in cabinets, drawers, shelves, special display shelves for my brothers' model cars, drop down desks, etc. Dad and my brothers built this huge drop down train table with pipe legs that screwed on when it was down. There was always something fun going on, and I loved living there.
Bear and I drove up to the home to take some pictures. Bear drove up the driveway and I started snapping pictures. Mr. Todd Owner, (not his real name...) came out of the house. ”May I help you?” he said somewhat reservedly. I told him who I was and that we once lived here. He remembered us from a few years ago when we had driven by and asked us if we would like to come in and see the inside. Of course we did!

We talked with him about changes Dad had made, knocking out walls, the maid’s quarters, etc. I took some pictures, which I will post on my blog. Some of it has changed drastically, other parts of it are just as it was when we lived there.
There was dirt in the sandbox and I didn’t want to dig to find our handprints, but I took a picture of the back patio dated 1970. It all looked much smaller than I remember. Hmm.
Todd said that the historical society had been out and looked at the garage. The roof has termites and they weren’t interested in putting it on the registry because of the damage.
The pole house was gone when they moved in, and the basement rooms had been changed. Brian and Clarence’s room had been enlarged into the pink shag carpeted girls room. Todd was going to redo the downstairs bathroom soon. But the pink upstairs bathroom was just as I remembered it. Pink fixtures and the same pink rose wallpaper.

I told him if he ever wanted to sell it there were a few family members who might be interested. He said, oh good, it starts at one million for the house, out buildings and 4.5 acres. Wow!

My Brother

My brother Clarence was a keeper. Those of you who knew him well know that he was also a pack rat, but I’m not talking about that.

He was a word-keeper, a memory-keeper, a journal-keeper. He was faithful in writing in his journal for most of his adult life, at least from the time he went on his mission.

I remember when I was younger, we stayed overnight at his house, it may have been in Twin Falls or Rigby, I don’t remember which, but when I went into the bathroom there were volumes on journal on the back of the toilet. I guess most people use that as a reading room, Clarence used it as a writing room.

Clarence told me to keep writing when he found out I had started a blog. He encouraged me to submit a few of my stories to an online newsletter, Heroic Stories. It was with his help that I became published.

I cherish the history of my father, and my children have read it too. It is a great legacy to leave behind for family members.
Because Clarence has set such a good example for me, I will continue to keep a journal. It may not be a daily thing, but I do write regularly. It may not be in numerous volumes like these, it’s on my computer and on my blog. I may not give elaborate details about each and every event, but I write about who am at the time.
Clarence has left behind a glorious legacy of his life for his children, a treasure to cherish for years to come. He has encouraged me to do the same.

Life is fleeting...

My heart hurts tonight. I can barely even express my thoughts. My dear eldest brother was in an accident and died this evening. The details are few, and too painful to even express.

My immediate family, nearly 60 of us, are in deep sorrow.

It is tragic. It is painful. The remembering hurts and makes new tears surface where I thought none existed.

My dear brother once told me he thought my writing was pretty good and that I should keep it up. He encouraged me to submit a few stories to newspapers for publication. I write from the heart, how I feel usually comes out on the paper. Not tonight.

I may be silent for a while. We may be travelling to a funeral. Oh, how I hurt just now...

Please pray, he leaves a wife, 6 children and several grandchildren, 6 brothers and sisters, his mother. Oh, he was dear to me. I can't believe he is gone.

What to do with all this?

Many years ago I made a lovely "coat of many colors;" a quilted jacket made from many strips of fabric from various quilting projects and homemade clothing. It is warm, comfortable, but getting worn and raggedy. Bear forbade me to wear it any longer.

So, I took it apart and made a pattern out of the pieces. I'm going to make another one with strips, crumbs and strings I've collected in the past 20 years. I'm looking forward to the finished project.

I found a flannel sheet at the thrift store for 25 cents that will serve as the filling. It is quite toasty with the lining and fabric on the outside. It will be such a thrifty, yet beautiful jacket when it is finished.


But what do I do with the old one now? It is in six pieces, two sleeves, two fronts, the back and collar. The sleeves and front are sort of worn through in places and the collar is probably heading for the trash, but any ideas what to use the good quilted pieces for? Any ideas are welcome.